Disrespecting your parents is a no-go always in my opinion. However, the definition of respect may be skewed. Some people may see respect as just always going along faithfully with what someone has to say. Some see it as never bucking the system or always being submissive to a person. I don’t agree with this.
My mother is a gambling addict. She won’t admit it, but it’s easy for me to see how her life is falling down around her because of it. I have no problem telling her that her gambling is a problem. I have no problem throwing examples of her issue in her face just to try to get her to see reality. It’s not based in hatred or anything bad, it’s because I can see her destroying herself. I’ve been told many times that I am disrespectful toward her because I don’t just stand down. I’ve also been told I’m disrespectful by her because I won’t give her money when her addiction has taken it all.
In my opinion, in that case it would be more disrespectful to allow her to squander her life in such a manner without mentioning the problem. Outright disrespecting your parents is wrong, but there are ways that you can try to be helpful that come across as disrespectful. I think it is all about your intention. I don’t resort to name calling or physical violence, but I won’t hesitate to loudly state that I don’t agree with what is going on. Some may misconstrue that as disrespect, but I believe that it is merely love showing through. I wish I could actually help her and make her see what is going on, but that is for her realization. All I can do is make it very clear what I see from the outside and hope that some day she realizes what she is doing. I’ll always be supportive of her, but not her addiction.
On another note, however, I do think it is disrespectful for a child (of any age) to do things that make the family look bad. For example if you get caught drunk driving, that is disrespectful to your parents assuming they raised you not to do such a thing. Same goes for stealing, murder, or anything else that’s harming others. Most of the time our parents do not teach us that such things are ok, and it is disrespectful to upstanding parents to go out and do such careless activities. We should want to make our families proud just as much as ourselves. Sometimes our families will never take pride in us, and that is a bummer, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive to be the best we can be.
Sometimes we have differing thoughts from our parents. Maybe our father is a KKK member. Not being a part of the organization may be seen as “disrespecting” our father. However, in a case like this, I feel that it is more important to respect the human race. Our loyalty to our family shouldn’t be so strong that we are willing to hurt others. It can be a very fine line between respect and doing what is right. Ultimately at the end of the day you have to answer to yourself, so if you can live with your decisions, that’s the true test of whether or not you have made the right one.