So I want to start this writing challenge I found, but before I do that, I just want to address something here. I keep seeing all of this nonsense about these protests involving “Trump supporters” and their opposition. Do these people realize the election is over? We need to worry less about supporting or opposing Trump and start supporting each other as Americans. When Obama was in office, you didn’t hear about “Obama supporters”. I certainly don’t recall any Bush or (Bill) Clinton supporters either once they were in the White House. No matter who you are for or against, at this point we should be uniting as Americans instead of dividing ourselves. Let’s try adult conversation before we go flying off the deep end. All of this is distracting us from what is really going on. This country has a serious problem with compassion right now and we could all use a little more of it. I don’t want to rant on too long, but seriously! Anyway, now that I got that out, on to this writing challenge…
First, I want to say I’m sorry for not remembering who’s blog I found this on. I was reading and then decided I wanted to do it, and I accidentally closed the tab and it was never to be found again. So I apologize for that, I didn’t mean to take something without giving proper credit. Anywho, day one. My current relationship status. Let’s go:
I’ve been with JT for a little over 5 1/2 years. I don’t see marriage on the plate for us (just doesn’t seem to make sense in this society), and we don’t want children. When I met JT, he was unemployed, living with his sister, recently out of the legal system, and still had a bit of a opiate addiction (pills, not IV drugs thankfully…not that either is better, but at least you can’t get HIV or Hepatitis from snorting pills…). I found that underneath all of his flaws, he was a decent guy. He’s really over emotional so that played a huge part into his problems I’m sure. I figured I’d give him a shot. I had no ideas about trying to change him or anything like that, but I thought maybe if we walked the path together awhile, he would be able to let his true self flourish and get away from the negative energies in his life.
First thing I did was help him find a job. Between myself and his sister we were able to get him a job so he could get some of his issues taken care of. He didn’t have a license or car either, so I spent a lot of time driving him around, delivering his payments for his court fines (it was a requirement of our relationship that he got those things taken care of, and I was happy to help), and making sure he got to work. There were days when he would work a few hours before me, and in order to save gas, I would drive him in and sleep in the parking lot until my shift started (we worked at the same place at this point).
He had gotten most of his issues taken care of, but then he hit another downfall. We were at a bar, and he was about to get jumped by 6 guys, most larger than him, and he was convinced he could handle them. I didn’t want to see the aftermath of that, so I tore him away from the fight and tried to drive him home. His rage was so intense that he couldn’t stop screaming, yelling and punching/pulling things in my car. I didn’t want him to go in the house (we were living with my parents at the time) because I was afraid he would break something, so I tried to keep the keys away from him which proved to be a mistake. As we wrestled over the keys, I lost my balance in flip flops and fell down 3 stairs. I wasn’t really hurt, but as far as I was concerned, he went to far, and I had to call the cops. I know he didn’t mean to hurt me, he just wanted the keys (and in hindsight I should have just given him the keys, the outcome probably wouldn’t have escalated so much). After a month long legal battle, we decided to speak again, and he decided to give up the pills altogether, so maybe in a way it was a blessing. After about 6 months of being back together, we had a bit of a falling out with my mom and she didn’t want him staying there anymore. I told him either we get a place of our own together or I was done with him. We weren’t going to keep living off other people, we had to do things on our own or it was never going to work. We got our own place then, and we’re going on 3 years having it.
Our relationships has clearly had some rough patches, but no matter what happens we always seem to get through it. I do love him, but I do have to admit, there are times when I don’t think he values me as much as he should. I’m sure I do the same, so I’m not trying to put the blame on him, but it is something I notice. I don’t think he does it on purpose, but he is a passionate person. He doesn’t see things in a hierarchy like I do. To me, there are levels, like your significant other and/or children should be number one, and family should be up there, close friends, friends, acquaintances, then strangers. If what a friend wants for me conflicts with what my significant other wants for me, 9.9999 times out of 10 I’m going with the significant other. That’s just how it should be in my opinion. You give yourself to a person, you promise them to be something, and I think that something should be more than just an option in a sea of choices. On the other hand, JT values people pretty much equally. If a friend’s idea collides with mine, he very well might choose the friend. He might also choose a stranger over family. To me this isn’t the object of having a relationship. But at the same time, I have to respect his ability to care personally about so many people.
I love JT and I’m proud of the progress we have made together. Sometimes I do have those thoughts about how maybe people just aren’t meant to be committed to another person, but who doesn’t. We aren’t going to agree on every little thing and I wouldn’t want us to. I do, however, feel that a relationship should be a partnership, and that it should very much be “us against the world”. A relationship should be a safe place to come home to at the end of a rough day, the pillar to help hold you up when you doubt yourself, and a place to radiate your happiness and share love. Relationships are tough, but I feel like people make them a lot harder than they need to be sometimes. All you gotta do is love.